Friday, April 2, 2010

Pain is Serious!!!

I'm sorry, but I'm going to be a bit of a drama queen in this post. You've been warned.

Last night, my husband did the unthinkable. I was totaling my headaches for March based on my headache calendar, which I do at the end of every month. I had 29 headaches. I shared this with my husband, which I usually do because, well, if you had more than 20 headaches each month, wouldn't you want the person closest to you to know about it?

His reaction? He automatically shook his head to the left and right, as if to say, "no, that's impossible." Then he realized what he was doing and stopped. I asked him to explain why he did that and he wouldn't talk. (He's not much of a talker to begin with.) So he started watching TV and I was sitting by him finishing some work on my laptop, but I wouldn't drop it, so I kept pressing him.

You don't believe me?!
Why the h*** would I lie about having headaches? What would that accomplish?
At the end of every day I write down whether or not I have a headache. It's not like I can make a mistake!

And on and on. Nobody seems to understand how debilitating headaches/migraines are. I told my husband how my  headaches have been maybe a 4-6 on a 1-10 pain scale where 10 is the worst, and once they get to the 7-10 range (this is just my opinion, and my own perception of my pain levels, not an official scale), I would have to stop all activities - including work - and stay at home because the pain would be too intense. I told him the pain seems to be getting higher and higher and it's getting closer to that point and that scares me. When I take medicine it's just a temporary fix for a few hours and then the pain is right back where it was before, and I've had zero luck with preventatives - make that negative luck if you count the side effects. I even said I've considered going to a hospital to see if they could keep me a few days and give me strong meds to try to break the pain cycle and see if that helps.

After all of that, I honestly feel that he still thinks I'm just being dramatic. How do I get through to him, and others I encounter on a regular basis?

(Side note - I'm aware that I care too much about what other people think, and I'm working on this with my therapist. ALSO - I should add that I have the best husband in the world. Pain is just something he doesn't have experience with, so you can't blame him for not understanding.)